Donegal Farmers rule!

A big city Dublin lawyer went duck hunting in rural Donegal. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck. It fell in this field and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in Dublin. If you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently you don't know how we settle disputes in Donegal. We settle small disagreements like this with the Donegal Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "And just what is the Donegal Three Kick Rule?"

The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until one of us gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The barrister was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent the barrister face-first into a fresh cow patty.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."


The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."